One of my presentation during my obstetrics posting. A complete rip off of Williams Obstetrics 22th Edition of carbohydrate metabolism in pregnancy.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
What to do when we got proposed unexpectedly
I am surely not as lucky as many of my friends who receive proposals to be their boyfriends. Yes, I am very much jealous. But what interest me is how the proposed person reacts to such un-cunningly-planned proposals.
It often when A developed a volcano-erupting-crushes on B. And A simply tells B that she like him. Out of the blue, point blank. You see, B and A were classmates. Both were hardworking, mission minded and from a spiritual sense, they are God-fearing. But A just don’t usually talk to B. However B’s personality is admirable, charming and handsome. He carries himself well. That just melts A’s hearts. When B speaks, A goes bonkers. So rather than keeping to herself and suffers silently, A decided to just tell B that she loves him.
If you were B, and you don’t like A, (or perhaps, you don’t see her ‘in that way’), how would you react?
1) Don’t give any answer? Acting as if you got an absence seizure?
2) A big, blunt but clear NO! and hope that A don’t jump from the top of ASHA building.
3) Or just say yes... and being that MR nice guy but secretly hated A. And run in to the risk of playing with A’s heart? God forbid.
4) But most of the case is, avoiding that person, disconnecting and terminating all friendship. Being overly suspicious when A is being nice. Stop talking to A and not allowing friendship to develop at all!
There is no easy answer for it.
How can we react to such away:
1) To minimize hurt and embarrassment, even though is inevitable.
2) Maintaining pre-existing friendship and allow it to develop as normal and closer friends instead of cutting off and avoiding her.
3) And at the same time being completely honest with her and ourselves?
If think, firstly, we have to understand that it is completely NORMAL to develop crushes and like someone. In fact, it is OKAY to be crazy and super desperate. To like and to be liked is part of how human related to each other.
With that in mind, I guess we need to know that, someone will invariably likes you or develops chronic crushes on you. Even though we are aware or not.
The only different is that the person (you may not like) is heroic enough to gather all her guts and just confesses her feelings towards you. In fact, one needs to risk her ego, being disappointed and shame to just confess. That takes an entire length of the guts. That is why I always admire people who make the first move and confess their feelings.
Yes, she may be a little too brash and a little not in her right mind, but isn’t that normal when we are crazy at somebody?
I think mature reaction to all this is, to acknowledge her feeling towards you and tell her that it is completely normal to have such feelings. And thank her for being honest to you. That will probably minimise her embarrassment. Tell her she has a lot of potential and talented. And reaffirm that she has been a good friend. But be completely honest with her that you didn’t see her “that way” and she will be her friends always.
Not sure if these suggestions will work. Didn’t try it out myself though. Or did I even have the chance to try it out? :)
It often when A developed a volcano-erupting-crushes on B. And A simply tells B that she like him. Out of the blue, point blank. You see, B and A were classmates. Both were hardworking, mission minded and from a spiritual sense, they are God-fearing. But A just don’t usually talk to B. However B’s personality is admirable, charming and handsome. He carries himself well. That just melts A’s hearts. When B speaks, A goes bonkers. So rather than keeping to herself and suffers silently, A decided to just tell B that she loves him.
If you were B, and you don’t like A, (or perhaps, you don’t see her ‘in that way’), how would you react?
1) Don’t give any answer? Acting as if you got an absence seizure?
2) A big, blunt but clear NO! and hope that A don’t jump from the top of ASHA building.
3) Or just say yes... and being that MR nice guy but secretly hated A. And run in to the risk of playing with A’s heart? God forbid.
4) But most of the case is, avoiding that person, disconnecting and terminating all friendship. Being overly suspicious when A is being nice. Stop talking to A and not allowing friendship to develop at all!
There is no easy answer for it.
How can we react to such away:
1) To minimize hurt and embarrassment, even though is inevitable.
2) Maintaining pre-existing friendship and allow it to develop as normal and closer friends instead of cutting off and avoiding her.
3) And at the same time being completely honest with her and ourselves?
If think, firstly, we have to understand that it is completely NORMAL to develop crushes and like someone. In fact, it is OKAY to be crazy and super desperate. To like and to be liked is part of how human related to each other.
With that in mind, I guess we need to know that, someone will invariably likes you or develops chronic crushes on you. Even though we are aware or not.
The only different is that the person (you may not like) is heroic enough to gather all her guts and just confesses her feelings towards you. In fact, one needs to risk her ego, being disappointed and shame to just confess. That takes an entire length of the guts. That is why I always admire people who make the first move and confess their feelings.
Yes, she may be a little too brash and a little not in her right mind, but isn’t that normal when we are crazy at somebody?
I think mature reaction to all this is, to acknowledge her feeling towards you and tell her that it is completely normal to have such feelings. And thank her for being honest to you. That will probably minimise her embarrassment. Tell her she has a lot of potential and talented. And reaffirm that she has been a good friend. But be completely honest with her that you didn’t see her “that way” and she will be her friends always.
Not sure if these suggestions will work. Didn’t try it out myself though. Or did I even have the chance to try it out? :)
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Loving a girl/boy enough?
Loving a girl/boy enough?
I am really honoured and really privileged to have few friends who are honest and willing to open their heart and feelings to me. They are really good, honest, driven, responsible, and good looking. But their stories were similar; they saw a really good and pretty girl (or good and handsome boy), they fall in love and they told their girl (boy) that they love her (him), and not surprisingly the girl (boy) say a big NO on their face and eventually avoiding him/her. And this did not end in a day or week. This painfully usually goes on for months or even years. Plus, they have been praying hard to God about it before proposing.
I really wish to help but I just don’t know how. But I do thought about this problem for a long time.
I think the question is do I love the girl enough to say ‘Actually, I love you’. Love her enough means:
Know about her family:
Are you closer to your dad or mum? Your parents fight at home? Your parents kiss in front of kids? Who makes the decision on...? Who usually control the money? Are you closer to your siblings or friends? Who is sick at home? What is your parents expectation at you? Who usually do the whacking at home? How they punished you when you were small? Family problems?
Know about her dream:
Why she choose this profession? What’s her ambition? What PG? What’s her dream work place like? Dream family?
Know about her friends:
Who is she closest too? Childhood friend? Boy friends? Girl friends? What kind of friends she is attracted to? Her crushes? Her ex?
Know about her values and spirituality:
One common mistake is, “I am going to married an Christian/Protestant/Catholic,” and were too lazy to find out more about his/her spirituality. Equally yoke does not mean going to the same church. Equally yoke means the spiritual growth and direction is the same. What is God to her? She really interested in knowing the truth or just follows religious tradition? Eg. Ask simple question like why do you think baptism is really necessary?
Well the list is endless. What I am trying to say is that if we love somebody, we will find more about her/him.
Pro 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The bible wants you to FIND! That means a lot of homework and searching to be done.
Heard of this awesome example:
Boy and Girl working in the same office. Boy doesn’t know much about the girl except the usually business stuff and work. But the girl’s personality attracted the boy.
Boy: Erm, we been friends for many years, working in the same office. I think we need to explore the possibilities of “more than friends.”
Girl: *blur*
Boy: I meant consider being my girlfriends/ marriage?
Girl: erm.. *felt weird, she don’t even usually talk to him* Actually, I don’t think it is the right time.
Boy: but why?
Girl: both of my parents is old and sick, I need to take care of them. I can’t think of relationship now. So, NO THANKS!
Boy: *ouch* [walk away felt hurt]
Well the boy has been just loving himself more than the girl in a sense that he is more concerning of getting the girl FOR HIMSELF. If he really LOVE the girl, he should has been really concern and ask:
Boy: oh, I am really sorry to hear that. What happen to your parents? What do you actually do to help them? Must be tiring for you...etc...
You get what I meant?
When we find out more about her, if you see that she is responding to your concern, and after much prayer, and then only tell her about your feelings towards her.
“Actually, I love you”
Weather to tell or not to tell. To tell means, that letting out and ending the torture of secret crush towards someone. But it also can make you at risk to seal a relationship goodbye; for good or for bad.
Make friends
1Ti 5:2 The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.
I love this bible text. It is a really good guiding principle on interacting with opposite gender.
The problem with many of us is that we view every opposite gender as “potential girl friend/wife.” Hence, eventually, some choose not to talk to ANY girls, becoming a male chauvinist or to another extreme, our interaction with other’s become very flawed.
I see this problem everywhere, even in church and classroom. I guess I am blaming Bollywood.
I guess, we need to learn to be just friends with an opposite gender. With as many as possible. By talking. Helping. Exalting. Encouraging. Just like what normal macha do. It’s okay to have close females friends.
How do we treat our sister?
We love them, but we don’t see them as ‘potential wife.’ Yeah, I know, yucks! That is God want us to treat the all opposite gender.
That means, I am not afraid to talk deep stuff with a girl, (just like I talk to my sister), maybe sharing some secret, or really getting to know about her. But I will not use terminology which I will reserve to my wife/girlfriend like: “dear”, “darling”, “I will be there for you.” I will not be too touchy with her, playing her hairs, too close physical proximity, gave any physical signal.
The 2 cultures of CMC
Just a random thought.
The culture here is unique because it is a blend of liberated modern culture and good traditional Indian values. In the classroom, the boys and girls will sit distinctly apart but in common house party, it is a different stories. Students usually wear very modestly in a formal and casual setting, but during dance competition, my eyes almost pop out - well not actually. Most claimed that they want their parents to arrange and choose their future spouse, but everyone developing crushes, interests, late night SMSes here and there –which are all PERFECTLY NORMAL.
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